Cool Sayings

[Chlöschti]

- "Just 'Cause you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you" (kurt cobain - "Territorial Pissings")

- "one day, i decided i was going to kill the hottest person in the world, but i when i thought it over, i realized suicide was not the solution" (unknown)

- "i cannot understand it! i can't even understand the people who can understand it!!!" (queen of netherlands)

- "ne me prennez pas pour un con, car vous feriez l'erreur de votre vie ; prennez moi pour un imbécile, vous serrez plus proche de la vérité" (Z.L.Z.)

- "one day, a girl phoned me and said: come on over, there's nobody home!... i came over, nobody was home" (Rodney Dangerfield)

- "my wife and i were happy for 20 years... then we met" (Rodney Dangerfield)

- "i havent talked to my wife in years! ... i didnt want to interupt her" (Rodney Dangerfield)

- "I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. " (Rodney Dangerfield)

- "dans quel film Sheila est elle l'héroine? Bang bang, Boum Boum, ou Big Bang???... moi j'ai fait un film qui s'appelait Gang Bang, mais c'était pas tout a fait parreil" (Vincent Lagaf' -- "Crésus")

[Chlöschti]

-peace sells...but who's buying?


-(on composing) "There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself" Bach


-SEND THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN TO BED, I'M GETTING DRUNK


-I did not have sexual relations with that women


- If it ain't broke, don't fix it.


- "Too much ain't enough"


q: Sili24: " What´s your favourite motto?

I like this saying: home is where your heart is!"

a: fischerowski: " i like to say 'home is where your stereoanlage is' "

[Chlöschti]

Please let me know if you find any errors or omis to lie and one to listen.

Computers can do that?

Doughnuts, is there anything they can't do?

You want the truth, you can't handle the truth!

Trying is the first step towards failure.

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun.

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

Oh, everything's too d**ned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the numbers.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV.

Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania' or 'teria'.

I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be cooking or something?

Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?

Me Fail English? That's Unpossible!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

1. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
2. If something goes wrong, blame the guy who can't speak English.
3. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.
4. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
5. Operator! Give me the number for 911!
6. Mmmm... beer.
7. Oh, everything's too d**ned expensive these days. This bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.
8. Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
9. It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day
10. What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.
11. "Trying your best" is the first step to failure.


"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs."


"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."


"To alcohol ! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems


"I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life.
Number one, 'cover for me.'
Number two, 'oh, good idea, boss.'
Number three, 'it was like that when I got here.' "

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose : it's how drunk you get."

"Lisa, if life’s rich history and pageant has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot-oil wrestling and foxy-boxing and such like."

"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

"Stealing ! How could you ? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church ? Captain what’s-his-name ?

We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies ? For fun ? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you ?"

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene.

Life is just one crushing defeat after another.

No one asked me to volunteer.

Where's the "Any" key?


Homer J. Simpson

[Chlöschti]

"If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport"

"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble-gum and i'm all outta gum." Duke Nukem


If everything is allready done today, tomorrow doesn't have a reason to exist.

[Sheriff]

:-D